I had some problem identifying her birth.  Waller is not an uncommon name and there were a few Catherine Waller baptisms.  But none looked like her.  Nor did any 1841 census, nor any 1851 census.  But the 1861 census was clearly her and said her father was a baronet, so it had to be right and it said she was born in Belgium.  The family was living at Coley Park Lodge, St Marys, Reading, Berkshire with a large household:

First name(s)  Last name  Relationship  Marital status  Sex  Age  Birth year  Occupation  Birth place
Thomas W        Waller    Head  M  M  55  1806  Baronet       London, St Pancras
Catherine       Waller    Wife  M  F  51  1810  -             Middlesex, Kensington
Catherine Mary  Waller    Daur  U  F  21  1840  -             Belgium  }
Sophia H        Waller    Daur  U  F  18  1843  -             Belgium  }  British Subjects
Charlotte Q     Waller    Daur  U  F  18  1843  -             Belgium  }
Anna            Waller    Daur  U  F  15  1846  -             Belgium  }
Mary            Pidcret   Gnss  U  F  33  1828  Governess     Germany
Ellen           Shanton   Serv  U  F  29  1832  House keeper  Yorkshire, Kirby
Anne            Cessford  Serv  U  F  35  1826  Ladys maid    LOndon St Pancras
Mary            Moss      Serv  U  F  26  1835  Housemaid     Newbury, Berkshire
Charlotte       Lart      Serv  U  F  19  1842  Ladys maid    Switzerland
Catherine       Bast      Serv  U  F  22  1839  Kitchen maid  Reading, Berkshire
Elizabeth       Cardey    Serv  U  F  22  1839  House maid    Berkshire, Swallowfield
Philipe         Frebereg  Serv  W  M  45  1816  Butler        Belgium
George J        Murray    Serv  U  M  33  1828  Footman       Middx,
Henry           Thomas    Serv  U  M  21  1840  Groom         Barby, Berkshire

Ref:
Archive reference  RG09
Piece number       746
Folio              125
Page               1
Combined:          1861 ref: RG09, piece 746, folio 125, p. 1

Obviously from the above, the family moved to Belgium soon after the marriage of the parents and then stayed there for at least six years.  Hence there is no UK record for Catherine Mary’s birth or baptism.
_____________________

What was her first name?  Was it Catherine or was it Catharine?

At marriage her name was written twice, first by a clerk, the celebrant even, and second by the bride herself.  She signed it as Catherine.  The clerk wrote it as Catharine and this has usually be transcribed as Catharina.

For the baptisms of their seven children her name is recorded in the register three times as Catharine and four times as Catherine.  Would she have noticed any of these, three or four, errors?  If so, would she have dared to say they must be changed?  I doubt it to the latter.

Her spelling in her signature is very clear unlike some of the other representations.  I conclude that her first name was Catherine and that the mis-spellings were because the hearers were more familiar with the other spelling and wrote what they thought they heard.
_____________________

Her death index:

Name:                          Age at Death (in years):  
STOPFORD, CATHERINE MARY       44  
GRO Reference: 1884  J Quarter in REIGATE  Volume 02A  Page 99
_____________________

The Licence application:

“DIOCESE OF LONDON
“                                4th March 1868
“APPEARED PERSONALLY, James Sydney Stopford, Esquire of the District of Saint Paul, Wilton Place, in the County of Middlesex, a widower,

“and prayed a Licence for the Solemnization of Matrimony in the District Church of Saint Paul Wilton Place, aforesaid, between him and Catherine Mary Waller of No 16 Eaton Square, in the same County, a spinster of the age of twenty one years and upwards

“and made oath that he believeth that there is no Impediment of Kindred or Alliance, or of any other lawful cause, nor any Suit commenced in any Ecclesiastical Court to bar or hinder the Proceeding of the said matrimony, according to the tenor of such Licence.

“And he further made oath, that he the said Appearer hath had his usual place of abode within the said District of Saint Paul Wilton Place for the space of Fifteen days last past.
                                                        J.S.Stopford

Sworn before me
?G.Middleton
   Surr.
________________________

There was then an enormous fight to find the marriage register page.  Ancestry is supposed to have all Westminster parish register images but no index search that I could find worked.  I knew from the Licence that the marriage was to be in St Paul’s, Wilton Place.  Eventually I found how to approach this register directly and go through it by a page index until I found the right page, using Burke’s information that they had married on the 10th March 1868.  And they had done precisely that, with a transcript by me from Ancestry’s image:

“                             Page 185
“1868. Marriage solemnized at St Paul’s Church in the District chapelry of St Paul’s Wilton Place
“  in the County of Middlesex
“NO:
“When married:

                   His                     Hers
                   ===                     ====

“Name:          James Sydney Stopford   Catherine Mary Waller
“Age:           Full                    Full
“Condition:     Widower                 Spinster
“Profession:    Esquire                 -
“Residence:     3 Halkin Place          16 Eaton Square
“Father:        Richard Bruce Stopford  Thomas Wathen Waller
“Father’s job:  Clerk in Holy Orders    Baronet

Married in the Above Church according to the Rites and Ceremonies of the Established Church,
“  by Licence by me,  G.R. Glenge(?) G.G.
“This Marriage was solemnized between us,  James Sydney Stopford, Catherine Mary Waller
“ in the Presence of us,  T W Waller, Sackville G Stopford
_____________________